


Two Rules

by nhasablog



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: Feelings, Love Confessions, M/M, Tickling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-07
Updated: 2017-03-07
Packaged: 2018-09-30 15:24:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10165907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nhasablog/pseuds/nhasablog
Summary: Bucky only has two rules for himself, and keeping his feelings from Steve goes against them, but is he really willing to put everything at risk just to stay true to himself?





	

Bucky wasn’t that complicated of a guy, really. All his life he’d had two rules for himself: fight for what’s right and always speak the truth. It hadn’t been that hard to execute his rules in his real life. When it was time to, he joined the war, because he knew it was the right thing to do for his country. Speaking the truth could be harder, because sometimes it meant putting yourself in vulnerable positions, but he always went through with it.

Now, several decades later, he realized that being honest came with a price, and sometimes that price was way too high. Sometimes the price meant losing something completely.

He looked at Steve, _really_ looked at him, and knew he wouldn’t be able to keep it to himself much longer. He hadn’t told him way back in the 40s, and to be fair that was because he hadn’t properly realized what was going on himself, but now, in the 21st century, he knew he felt something for his friend, and to keep it a secret went against everything he believed in. It felt wrong.

Steve met his gaze across the kitchen table. “What?”

He shook his head. “I just… I’ve got a lot of things stuck in my head tonight.”

Steve didn’t urge him to continue, a silent expression of trust that Bucky appreciated. Steve never forced him to talk, which could be both a good thing and a bad thing. Right now he wasn’t sure which one it was. His mind felt cluttered, and he knew he needed to let some thoughts out before he’d explode. It was hard picking a safe route to go when the one thing he was terrified of saying was at the very tip of his tongue, threatening to spill any minute.

He needed to get out of the room. Now.

He stood, prompting Steve to look at him questioningly. “Where are you going?” His tone was light, as if Bucky’s reply wouldn’t matter, but Bucky knew it was an act.

“I figured I’d go to the gym,” he replied, forcing his gaze to remain on his friend. “Care to join me?” he added because he was a freaking dumbass with goldfish memory who’d forgotten he wanted to leave the room in order to get away from Steve.

Steve nodded almost eagerly. “Sure. Let me just go change.”

Twenty minutes later they were setting up, both of them looking around in order to decide what to do. Bucky knew he wanted to punch the life out of something, so he steered for the punching bags and wasn’t surprised when Steve followed suit. That guy had more anger in his body than he was able to contain.

They worked out in silence at first, which didn’t bother Bucky in the slightest since his mouth couldn’t betray him if he kept it shut, but once they’d gone through countless of exercises and started looking around the room in search for something else, Bucky knew the silence wouldn’t last. Their eyes locked and Steve smiled and Bucky wanted to run away and never leave simultaneously.

“How about we sparr?”

Bucky would surely regret saying, “Sure,” but he wasn’t sure when exactly.

They’d never sparred before. Not properly. They used to play fight when they were younger, but it had never gone so far that they did it for practice. Those were simpler times, and not even their army days had led up to them standing before each other with their fists raised. Bucky ignored the flashback at the back of his mind. This wasn’t for real. They weren’t _actually_ fighting. It was all pretend.

It was all play fighting, in a way.

Steve took it easy on him. He could tell. Something in his face told Bucky that he was having the same sort of memories flash through his head, and he knew the safest thing to do would be to just stop, but he didn’t want all that to interfere with his life now. It wouldn’t be fair to not keep living.

_It wasn’t real. It was all pretend. He wasn’t hurting Steve._

When one of them threw, the other one blocked. When one of them backed, the other moved forward. It was like a dance they knew all too well, despite never having properly practiced it together. As Bucky threw his last punch he knew he needed to do something before the whole situation became way too serious for his liking.

So he started the playful conversation.

“Why’re you holding back on me, old man?” he asked as he lowered his hands. “I know you can do better than that.”

Steve raised an eyebrow. “Is that so? I don’t recall you doing your best there either.”

“I’m taking it easy on you.”

“And why’s that?”

“Old habit, I guess.”

Steve let out a laugh. “Oh man, remember those times?”

“How can I ever forget.” He ignored how painfully contradicting that statement was.

“I used to be so frustrated that I wasn’t strong enough to beat people up.”

“And now no one is strong enough to beat _you_ up. It’s almost beautiful.”

Steve grinned. “Maybe I should get revenge on you for all the times you pinned me down.”

Bucky snorted. “You deserved what was happening to you every single time.”

“Even when you tickle attacked me for no reason?”

“Okay, _that_ I do admit was for my own enjoyment.”

“You always liked seeing me squirm.”

“It was extremely fun, in my defense, but don’t sit around here pretending you weren’t enjoying it too.” He reached out to poke at Steve’s ribs, and a smirk found his lips when Steve jumped away. “Wait, you’re _still_ ticklish? The serum didn’t change that?”

Steve looked sheepish when he mumbled, “I think the serum made it even worse actually.”

They observed each other for a loaded few seconds as Bucky tried to decide what to do. Tickling Steve was second nature back then. Did he still have that same privilege today?

He got his answer when Steve didn’t back away as he moved closer.

It was strange tickling Steve again, because his reactions were pretty much the same as they’d always been, and while Bucky’s hands knew what they were doing it also felt unfamiliar. It was like returning to your childhood home way into your adulthood. You remembered it all, but in time it had become like a distant dream. To suddenly step back into those four walls that had once been your home made you feel both safe and terribly out of place.

Tickling Steve was the same.

Bucky trapped him against the wall at first, but Steve had always had a habit of sort of sliding down while he was tickled in order to get away, so it didn’t take long until they ended up on the floor, both of them struggling for a moment before Bucky was able to properly straddle him. It was all laughter and pleads and squirming after that, and Bucky came to the realization that Steve really _was_ struggling since they were both strong. He could imagine what it was like being stronger than everyone only to suddenly find your match. He really could.

When his fingers stilled and Steve’s laughter had ceased and he was gasping for breath with Bucky still perched on his hips Bucky felt those words find the tip of his tongue again, and this time he wasn’t sure he would be able to swallow them. He didn’t move, which would be the usual step to take from there, but remained sitting on Steve. His childhood friend. His only family.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Steve asked.

Bucky wasn’t sure what sort of expression he was wearing, but he reckoned it wasn’t nonchalant in the slightest. “You know how I always preach about doing what’s right and speaking the truth?”

“That still your motto?”

“Do you think it makes me a hypocrite if I don’t follow my own rules?”

“I mean, kind of?”

“Do you think you should speak the truth even if it might jeopardize something?”

“If the result also has a chance of being beautiful, then yes, I think so.”

Steve was right, so Bucky licked his lips, leaned down, and delivered his truth. The result was even more than beautiful.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on [tumblr](http://nhasablog.tumblr.com)


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